Have I mentioned Humble Boy?

This blog has sat fallow for years, and I’ve decided to resurrect it. Don’t worry. I’m still going to be obsessively focusing on myself like any blog circa 2007 would, but I have all new thing in my life to dwell on.

So I’m in this show. I wear tight white pants. I had to shave my facial hair because I need to look much younger for this role. I also need to look heavier.

So if you’d like to see a chunky, 12-year-old version of me stuffed into a pair of white trousers tickets are still available.

SSMRs Have Some New Digs

UPDATE 3/26/2008: Single Sentence Movie Reviews have moved once again. The new location is http://www.singlesentence.com.

Let’s be honest. Single Sentence Movie Reviews have taken over this blog. The idea that this is a personal blog is a farce. The movie reviews should have their own separate blog, and now they do. All future SSMRs can be found at SingleSentenceMovieReview.com. (RSS subscribers, you’ll want to head to my lovingly hand-crafted rss feed.

I haven’t moved all the old reviews over yet, but that’s where all the new ones are going up. You also have the opportunity to share your comic genius and beat me at my own game. In place of the traditional blog comments, you can now submit your own sentences to any of the movies that have been reviewed.

As for this blog, it’s free so I don’t see any reason to shut it down. Besides those of you who like to have a little extra reading material every 4-6 months, should not delete this blog from your book marks.

Single Sentence Movie Review: Shooter

 

I didn’t realize until I sat down to write this that the message of this movie is a group of men who are above the U.S. legal system is a conspiracy, while an individual who is above the U.S. legal system is a hero.

Single Sentence Movie Review: Blades of Glory

 

After tapping into the growing popularity of NASCAR, Will Ferrell is now embracing blue collar America’s other favorite past time.

Single Sentence Movie Review: Meet the Robinsons

 

Here’s a story so good that I want the Theory of Relativity to be wrong.

What the Trailer For a PG Version of 300 Would Look Like

If there’s something on earth funnier than this, I’ve never heard of it.

Single Sentence Movie Review: Premonition

 

Final Destination, eat your heart out.

Single Sentence Movie Review: Zodiac

 

This movie does an excellent job of conveying how this case never came to a truly satisfying conclusion by never coming to a truly satisfying conclusion.

Single Sentence Movie Review: 300

 

Whatever your views on U.S. foreign policy, hearing that someone interpreted this movie as a support piece for George W. Bush is ten kinds of hilarious.

Single Sentence Movie Review: Breach

 

This is not one of those movies that is more hip and more alluring because it begins by telling me how it is going to end.